Showing posts with label My Faithful Followers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label My Faithful Followers. Show all posts

Monday, April 30, 2012

From the Deepest Recesses of the Apex of My Cardiac Muscular Tissue.

For those of you having a bit of trouble with the title, I've illustrated it for you.

Disclaimer: Not my actual heart.

If you're still having trouble, I meant "from the bottom of my heart."

Just what exactly am I trying to tell you from the bottom of my heart? 

The answer to that is "Thank You." 

You see, I got a message the other day from someone, and it made me realize that I have the most supportive network of friends in the world. I've been stewing on it all weekend, trying to figure out how I can thank you all without spending a whole lot of money in the process. I was actually going to mail you all iPad 3s, but The Missus stopped that from happening. Something about needing to feed our kids and pay bills. She's a bit of a killjoy. 

In all seriousness, I want to thank you all for supporting me, this blog, and all of the crazy things I try. I realize that Facebook has become sort of the driving force behind this piece of Internet heaven, and so I want to give a special shout-out to all of you who have liked, commented on, or shared something I have written. The same goes for the Twitter friends out there retweeting and mentioning posts.

Another shout-out should go to the emailers, who forward my blog's links, or just tell others about them. 

And still another to all the "word of mouth" folks who send their people my way.

And yet I probably wouldn't be doing this today if it weren't for the "blog friends" I've made along the way. Some have come and gone, but others have stuck around, and keep supporting me in what I'm doing, which has to be hard, because most of the time *I* don't know what I'm doing. So I want to thank y'all as well. 

As far as spending money on you, you should all know that right now, I am having to hook up to my phone as a modem to type this and post it. So I'm using my data plan. Which means that this whole thing is going to set me back about .42 cents. If you break that down across my entire support network, you're all actually getting a small chunk of that sweet, sweet Travis money. 

There are things I still want to try. I want to write a book. I want to get up on stage again. I want to become a motivational speaker that makes people laugh and then helps them through problems. I want to get through college. And I want to hug each and everyone of you really hard and awkwardly while I'm doing all that other stuff. And knowing that you're there, supporting me, will give me a lot of the strength I need to do those things. 

*Except for the hugs. I'm already strong enough for really awkward hugs.

I know this is a blog, and is therefore a tad impersonal. I understand that you're just reading the words that I put here, and you have no idea if I actually mean them or not. But I'm here to tell you, when I got the message that instigated this whole post, I sat back on my couch, smiled, and thanked God for each and everyone of you. I was, and still am, enormously grateful for all of you, and the daily interaction that we have. 

So I've reached the end, and maybe you're still not happy. Maybe you want your very own personalized blog post, Facebook post, Twitter update, autographed headshot, or Skype call. I absolutely understand that, and I would LOVE to do it for you. Shoot me an email, fire a text my way, message me on The Book, or DM me on The Twitter Machine, or simply comment down below. Give me the details, and whatever you want is yours.  You can find the way to get in touch with me on social networks in the top right hand corner of the blog, and also the "Contact Info" tab just under the header. 

I seriously love you all. And once again, I thank you. From the deepest recesses of the apex of my cardiac muscular tissue bottom of my heart, I thank you.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Equal Opportunity And All That Jazz...

I have 50 followers now.

I'm not particularly proud of how I got my 50th, because it may or may not have involved me telling Lily over at Tapdancing In The Dark that I would pee in her bee hole. Mostly may. Oh, the measures I will go to to get a little more attention. Sigh.

Anyway, I basically have something to get off my chest.

When I started this blog, I didn't have any idea what a "Follower" was. I just knew that I had some things to say, and that I thought other people might find them hilarious. When I first started getting followers, especially ones who didn't know me, I was thrilled. Then I got a few more. Then a few more. Next thing you know, I'm promising Sweet Baby Jesus that if I can get 20, I'll never ask for anything else ever again. Then I won a caption contest, and for sure, I hit 20 and then some.

Since I've promised to always keep it real here, I'll tell ya. I got obsessed. It became my mission to get as many people to join me in my little laugh factory as I possibly could. I may or may not have physically assaulted a few of you to make you join. I offered Jeff over at This Is Why Your Hold Time Is So Long candy bars. I threatened Ed over at Ed's Funny Pages by stealing one of his kids. The point is, I just got too wrapped up in it all. I have bitched to Ed about one certain person that REFUSES to follow me, even though I've followed them for 568 years. I've sold out, in a sense, because I've even followed people that I didn't think were funny because I thought they'd follow me.

No more. I've hit 50, and I'm done worrying about it. 50 people think I'm funny enough to put up with my bullshit everyday, and I think that's pretty kick ass. I should be thanking those of you who deal with my insipid rantings, and that's what I'm going to do.

Thank YOU! (see, that's in big letters, so you know I mean it.)

So here is my pledge to The 50.

I, Travis Sloat, do hereby pledge and promise to empty all of my spare minutes and seconds of free time (unless involved in any of my many other hobbies such as golfing, fishing, playing sports badly, yelling at Tony Romo, cheering on the Duke Blue Devils, eating, singing recreationally, making sweet sweet love, cooking for The Missus, and being lazy) into this blog, making it the funniest thing you have ever read, which will in turn make you laugh until you cry, which will make you want to send me large sums of money.

There ya go.

This brings me to part two of my little spiel.

Some of you may be saying, "That little bastard is talking about people not following him, but he's not following me, and I'm funnier than he is, plus I have bigger testicles/boobs." I can understand how this would make you feel. So. Here's what I'm asking you to do. If I am not currently following your blog, please send me a message, or put it in a comment, that you want me to check you out. I will do so, and upon discovery of your funniness, or the picture you send of your testicles/boobs, I will follow you straight into the fires of hell with a water pistol and some Gatorade. (it'll have to be sugar free Gatorade, because of the diabetes.)

I just want to say that I love you all, and if any of you ever need an organ or legal counsel, I will provide both personally. That is to say, I will represent you myself in court, or we will drug someone, take their organ, put em in an ice bath, and find a cheap hospital that may or may not sterilize ALL their instruments, but by god they don't ask questions about the fake HMO card that we've made out of a copy of your drivers license and the back of cereal box.

And that, my faithful few, is Real.