I’m blogging from my mothers house. We’re watching Jerry Springer. My brother and I. Not my mom. My mom isn’t here. If my mom was here, she’d beat all of us for watching it. She really doesn’t approve. I’m here for a reason. I’ll give it to you.
The Youngest: I’m saying we fix the old one.Me: Let’s do it cheap. As in, no money.TY: That prolly won’t happen. But I still wanna try.Me: We’re gonna do it. I need you to get pumped about this.TY: I kinda wanted to do stuff to that boat anyway. Make it look not so trashy.Me: I’m taking the steering off the riding mower and putting it on it.TY: That’s not gonna work either. That’s gonna take money.Me: I will not take no for an answer on that. We WILL make it happen.TY: A steering wheel on a boat turns with a cable. The lawnmower turns with a shaft.Me: We’re going to make a cable. Or a shaft. That’s what she said. But we are.TY: What time you coming over?Me: Eh, I have a lame thing around 9:30, and I’ll be done around 12. Sometime after 12.TY: That works.Me: Say it for me. I need you to believe in this.TY: I think we can make this boat look tight. But it WILL take at least a little money.Me: We’re naming it.TY: Nessy.Me: We’ll paint that shiz on the side.TY: If we’re makin it look good, we’re paintin it somethin other than blue. That looks so gay. And I wanna paint some graphics on it.Me: Dude. It ain’t a gd speedboat. And if you ask to put nitrous on it, I’m kickin you in the nuts.TY: Dude. My name isn’t Lester. I’m not wearin a wife beater and jean shorts with a 99 cent bright orange life jacket on that boat. I’m not ugly, and what I roll in isn’t ugly. That’s real.
So began our conversation on what we could to do the boat. You know, the one I mentioned yesterday? Yup. It’s just been sitting at my moms house, getting dirty and nasty again. I think it’s cursed. However, The Youngest and I decided we were gonna fix it up today. We got real motivated, and then we went to bed.
Enter Tuesday. I went to my lame thing, which is going to be another post tonight, and then I came back here. In between times, I got a job. It’s at my old high school, and it’s only min wage, but it’ll do. I’ll get something else part time if I need to. Anyway, back to my moms and The Youngest.
I get here, I get something to eat, and we go out. When we get to the boat, he points out what I call a banana spider. Yeah, I know that’s probably not what it is, but that’s what I call it. I used to feed these things all the time when I was growing up. I’d toss a grasshopper in the web, and they’d go to town. I love them. So one of those spiders is in our boat. The boat we’re gonna fix up! Yeah! I decide to feed the spider, then relocate it, so that we can go to town. I toss in a beetle. Nothin. I toss in a butterfly. Nothin. I was so sad. I’m still sad. I was so sad, I decided that I couldn’t possibly work on a boat in this state.
Yeah. That’s how easy it is to unmotivate me. The Youngest didn’t care, I don’t think he was that into it to begin with. I don’t blame him. Maybe we’ll get on it tomorrow.
Until then… JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!