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Who Has Two Thumbs And Saw New Moon Last Night? I’m Not Gay.

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I am guest posting today at Batcrap Crazy, which is the blog of Mrs. Daffy! I won her “asshat” definition contest. If you want to read it, click here! I have also been featured in a a blog by Tamara over at Cheapskate Mom. If you want to check that out, click here!!

The Missus called me yesterday.

“Guess what?”

“What’s that?”

“Carmike has a midnight showing of New Moon!”

“I’ll go get the tickets.”

So yeah, I went 4 hours early to get tickets, and the place wasn’t even open yet. Kid Funk tried to introduce me to Fandango, but it didn’t like me too much.

I went back, stood in line, and got the tickets.

As I got the tickets and was leaving, I did the funniest thing that never got laughed at. There were about 100 people in line, and the theater guy came out waving his little arms and said, “Does anyone here want to see something that is starting NOW?” And I piped up above the crowd and said, “I want to see A Christmas Carol!”


Finally, from the very back, I hear a guy.


Yeah. I was pissed. But, it proved why I’m not a stand up comedian. Actually, I don’t think it was the right venue, what with little teeny boppin emo retards worrying about whether or not they’d get a ticket and whether or not they’d pop a boner at the sight of Edward without a shirt on.

By the way, I’m totally Team Edward. That’s real. Vampires are so much cooler.

I won’t post anything about the movie, other than it was great. I really think it was much better than the first one.

Be jealous, I saw it before you.

However, as we were waiting in line to get into the theater, shit got crazy. First of all, I met a fellow blogger whilst standing in line. I looked at The Missus and said, “I’m totally blogging about this.” And this lady behind us said, “Oh, I am too.” So of course I demanded asked her the name of her blog, and of course started braggin on you guys being the best followers in the world. And guess what? She only has 19. Why don’t y’all go show her some love! She lives in my town!!! Click here to go visit her. I haven’t really read through the blog, so I take no responsibility for what is on there!

I really am running on like 3 hours sleep here, so I’m not funny today. I may come back later for more, but I just don’t know. I need sleep. Go read the guest post! Then go check the post of Cheapskates, and then go give Ruby some lovin. Not literally though. Her husband looked like a pretty solid dude.

Oh. And I should mention, there is something big headed your way. And no, it’s not me on a bike. I’ve collaborated with a certain blogger named Lauren, and let me tell you, great things are afoot. It’s still in development, but we’ll let you know something soon.