The Fisher of Stories

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Let us not forget Lloyd’s eyeball, lost in the battle.


“Defeat, my Defeat, my deathless courage,You and I shall laugh together with the storm,And together we shall dig graves for all that die in us,And we shall stand in the sun with a will,And we shall be dangerous.
– Kahlil Gribran
One more.

One more trip to Oklahoma City. One more trip to the Big House. One more game. One more piece of hardware for the trophy case.

You gave that to us, Mustangs. You did. You gave us one more.

When you walk into the hall, there are still streamers and small basketballs hanging from the ceiling. There is still paint on the door, telling you to go get the gold. There are still signs on your locker that say, “State Bound.”

All of these reminders of what happened on Saturday night. If I had to imagine, painful reminders. I’m here to tell you they shouldn’t be.

You gave me one more chance to go see my favorite team from my favorite school play in my favorite place: the state final.

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And let us not forget Coach Clark’s tie, which remained the entire game on Saturday.

You gave me one more chance to hang out with friends I hadn’t seen in forever.

You gave me one more chance to tell your story.

You also gave me one more chance to spend approximately $250 on food for the weekend, but we’re not going to focus on that, believe me, my beautiful and loving and kind and forgiving (did I mention beautiful) wife has focused on it plenty.

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You can’t see it very well in this pic, but that bucket had a lid on it.

When the final horn sounded on Saturday night, I didn’t see anyone on the floor hang their heads. I didn’t see anyone cursing, throwing a fit, or mouthing off to the other team. I saw what we all hope to see in the young men who represent our school: dedication, not defeat; pride, not self-pity; and sportsmanship, not petulance.

You gave me one more chance to be incredibly proud of my school, my town, and my students.

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Marcus literally cannot believe how high Caleb is jumping here.

Also, can we be honest, just for a second, and say that you almost gave me one more heart attack on Friday night? No one had hopes of winning that game. I do not care what anyone tells you, no one thought you would pull that off. But you did, and you did it in such a way that gives this amazing town one more story to tell about that time in the state tournament when a miracle happened.

You also gave one more chance to someone to score a basket in a state final. You did that. You gave that to him. He will never forget it, and neither will anyone who saw it.

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“Travis, I’m sorry, I tried to take a good picture but I was crying.” – Alicia
So was I, babe. So was everyone.

As an aside, I would also like to thank the Ft. Cobb-Broxton players who helped make that happen.

So, Mustangs, if I see you in the hallway with your head down, I will address it. I will remind you that greatness is not measured in the color of your trophy, but in your character, in your work ethic, and in the way you represent our town. And for those, Mustangs, you get the gold.

For those, you are number one.

Thank you.

“Between the pavement and the stars,
beneath the weight of years of scars,
burns the same soul –
paint the sky blue.
Hallelujah,
you’re still you.” 

– Reese Roper

Hey folks.

I’m gonna level with you.

Someone doesn’t like me.

GASP!

No no, seriously.

That video I posted a while back about the Christmas Parade in my hometown? Well folks, it seems that it’s not been well received by everyone in the little town.

As I was working this evening, a message came in on my BB that I had a new comment on youtube. “YAY!” Is what I thought. Then I read it. I’ve taken the liberty of giving you what it said. I’m going to paste it up in UNC Blue, because we all know that it is cowardly and gay.

Everybody knows Travis Sloat’s super sized fat ass made this. The next time he is eating (which should be every other 30 minutes) maybe he should remember who he works for and all of the people in this town that he has screwed over. Instead of opening his big mouth to trash our small town maybe he should just do what he is used to and shove a few cheeseburgers in it instead. Merry Christmas.

So yeah. Someone named “WarVeteran09” who is 36 years old and maybe lives in Okay, America, isn’t real happy with me right now. I love how he chooses the anonymity of the internets to post his hate. Also, and I don’t know if y’all know this or not, but I’m fat. I just wanted to clear that up. Don’t cheeseburgers sound good?

Here’s what I’m asking of you, my blog battalion. I’m asking you to click on the link below, and go comment back to this bastard. I want you to make him wish he’d never been so cowardly. I want you to tell him what you think of him, really, without holding back. I want you to give him…

…the bidness.

I’ve disabled comments on this post, because I really want them all to go on this video. Please don’t let me down here, folks. I need ya. Spread this around a bit. Let’s try to get a thing going here. It’s like a petition, only for my ego and pride.

Go Here For The Video.

And I’m gonna say this in advance,

I love you guys. And thanks.

P.S. I am currently working on a response video for this. It. Will. Be. Epic.

I’ll announce the contest first. I’ve started picking up some new people around this place, and they’re probably all going to leave soon iffen I don’t give something away.

Y’all comment real good though, and that’s the basis of the contest.

I’m going to start taking what I consider to be the five funniest comments each week, placing them in a poll, and letting you guys vote on which ones you think are the funniest. The winner will get a fancy certificate I’m going to make up that will basically say you are the funniest person in exsistance, Dane Cook be damned.

If you win five certificates, I’m going to give you a more tangible award, probably not announced until that happens, and suited to your personal tastes. I guess that’s my way of saying that I will spend money on you. Before you go getting all excited, remember, I got rent and a car payment. And before you go saying, “Well, that’s not bad,” remember that I also have to feed myself.

Yeah. Epic, right?

Anyfat, on to the pictures.

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This guy was at a basketball game I went to on Tuesday. He pulled these things out of his POCKET, and started trying to sell them to some guy, and then started trying to tell him how to use them. Yeah, there’s a technique, but geez. Tie your line to it and throw it in the water. You know? It’s not as if it needs to come with a set of instructions. I can only assume that the guy made a sale, because the two rednecks shook hands and parted ways with smiles.

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You might want to click that one to make it bigger. (TWSS)

Yeah. Who in THE SWEET BLUE FLYING FUCK asked for this production? I mean, forget TSO or the Mannheim Steamroller or the Nutcracker this holiday season. I’m going to see Legally Blond: The Musical.

Aren’t you? Don’t you want me to try to win you free tickets as well? I mean dang, I think I just found my first prize for the comment contest. Were the movies that good? Did I miss something in them that warranted a Broadway production? I mean, that could be legitimate, because for most of the first one, I had my hand in my pants. And honestly, I thought the whole first movie was actually a sequel to Clueless.

I didn’t catch the second one.

These next few are of me arranging the deer in my brother’s (The Groom) yard.

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The first one kind of looks like I’m trying to stimulate the poor buck, and the second kind of looks like I’m joining in on the fun. But the end result was quite hilarious, and the only thing I didn’t do was plug the things in and get a video of it. That’s my bad. I dropped the ball on that one. As of right now, (11 PM) I haven’t heard from my brother, which means he must not know I did it. Seeing as he never reads my blog, I may be in the clear.

And these are of the upcoming Christmas parade in my hometown of less than 500 people. You can bet your sweet ass I will be out there covering it, and will give you a full report plus pictures.

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There you have it folks. Hope you enjoyed the pictorial, and for sure, if you have any suggestions on the comment contest, let me know!

I’ll be back tomorrow with Conversation posts, one from Kid Funk, and one from The Missus, and also a picture of me meeting a blog buddy in real life for the first time!
A while back, I posted blog on the sort of general white trashiness of my hometown. I put a couple of pictures up, and made a few comments. Some of you may remember, others may need to click those orange words up there.

Apparently, someone has been reading my blog.

I really can’t think of any other reason for this:

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Yep. I’ll give you the Sloats Abridged Encyclopedia Entry for what you see here.

Bra Tree: Any tree that produces fruit of the genus Boobus Holdus from the family Supportings Garmentus. The Bra tree can be found in areas of the Southern Central states, and is usually found in areas with a large mullet wearing population. It blooms in early summer and in late summer, usually when large amounts of alcohol are consumed in the area. The most common fruit it bears is the leapordi skinnus, which is usually small in cup size, although larger ones can be found if the classiness of the area has been called into question. The tree doesn’t do well in cold climates or in large towns and cities. The fruit can be harvested, but it takes a certain type of person to do that, usually someone with no moral compass and/or teenage boys.

So here’s the thing. I really don’t know if this was done in response to me blogging about it, or if it was done because, well, people get bored and drunk on Saturday nights. It honestly could go either way, and I’m not sure I want to find. out. If anyone wants to leave a comment about it that knows what’s happening, feel free to stay anonymous. Also, if you want to add to or rectify my encyclopedia entry, just consider this Wiki. Enjoy.

(Also, there is just one more day for the Meet The Missus questions! So far I have about 7 or 8 questions, and I need more!!! Get on it, people! Go HERE to leave a question, or email them to me! I will stop taking questions at midnight on Wednesday. GO!) 
Today is just going to be a day of me posting a couple of different things to let you know what it’s like in my home town. I know I’ve tried to tell you, and I’ve even posted a sign that’s been up before. This is the newest sign…

Nope. You’re not imagining that. It’s for real. I could go into trying to make fun of this, but I can’t. It just speaks for itself. I asked the lady who owned the restaurant why it was up there like that, and she said, “Because they can put it up there.” Classic. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.
The next thing I have to show you…

That was hanging in a tree down by my mothers house the other day. I just want to meet the kind of classy lady that would do this. “Jim, this bra is no good. I’m tossin it.” Once again, words pretty much fail me.
And finally, this little number was laying on the floor of one of the classes I subbed for today. The paper had a name on it, but I won’t be giving that out. Now I’m going to say this. Please don’t read this too hard. You will give yourself an aneurysm. That’s no good for anyone. Just kind of lightly skim over it, and then if you can handle it, read it again slower, but still pretty quick, and don’t get hung up on anything for too long.
Moviethe mexican Just attacked the Americans. young men Had to behave or something till Sarha ann to put out the son evory night for momma berrys. a boat steam down Mexico, Mexico has started the war. apparenty they was pertexting that house by the end of may somthing happen the war was over quicky the Mexican prove them wrong S troopes Soffered a second the pacific ocean stoped them many would be force to get another Identy and live under a forgin country. May is something happened.
I feel like it’s very important that you know I didn’t make that up. At all. I am honestly scared to run spell check on this. I might shut down Blogger for a while. This was a junior high student. As far as I know, none of them were “special” in any way. So…….. Yeah…… There ya go. Another brief look into my home town, and the wonderful people here.
At least she spelled Americans right. She also capitalized it. That’s a W.
“Pertexting” is now the word of the year. The rest of the year, you have to squeeze that in as many places as you can. (That’s what she said.)My little brother and I, The Youngest, were headed out to Ft. Gibson Dam today to catch some fish. On the way there we saw this gem.
I braked as hard as I could, and damn near wrecked tryna get us into his driveway for a pic. This is gorgeous, y’all. This is what happens when you let people in my home town have wood and paint. He even made it rhyme. I’m so proud. I think if he had more space he might have made a haiku.
Anyway, he needs gas, and he’ll mow your yard cheep. You might see what you can talk him down to. And shoosh, if you need a sign made, I’d give him a buzz first.