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The Fisher of Stories



Yesterday my wife and I began the Whole30 food program. I hate to think of it as a diet, it’s more of an eating change.

The basic tenements of the program can be found here.
We didn’t really have the groceries on hand to begin the right way, but I have a couple of Yeah Write buddies who are in on it, and I wanted to give them some support.
I weighed on Sunday. I am 324 pounds. I have man tits. My gut is enormous. I’m currently taking three medications for diabetes (Metformin, Glyburide, and Invokana), a pill for blood pressure, and a pill for a fatty liver, as well as an antidepressant.
Something has to give.
So yesterday was Day One.
I had two poached eggs for breakfast. That was it. That was a poor decision on my part, but it’s what we had. For lunch, tuna. No seriously, that’s it, tuna with pickles. I ate that meal in the teacher’s lounge and wanted to cry afterwards.
I was mean to students, moody, and determined to go get groceries for a better dinner. So when I left school, that’s what I did.
Dinner was sirloin steak, sliced thin with mushrooms, garlic, and a sauce made from beef stock, fish sauce, and oregano. My god it was amazing. I put the larger portion in a container for lunch today. That was a difficult thing to do.
I also made clarified butter, which is something I’ve never done before. Something else I did was buy only myself dinner, and didn’t get anything for my wife and kids. Alicia pointed this out to me when she got home, and because we’ve begun depriving our bodies of things it thinks it needs, she pointed that out to me in a rather angry fashion.
I had a church league basketball game last night, and my performance was awful. Not that it has even been grand (not since high school), but I missed every shot I took and airballed a three. Embarrassing.
Even tougher was coming home. I was starving (or so I thought), and I wound up eating plain salsa (Whole30 approved) and pistachios. I went to bed hungry, but (sorry for being personal) I got laid, and that helped a lot. It also helped that Villanova beat UNC in the National Championship game.
Today is Day Two, or Day Twenty-Nine, depending on my mood. I’m going to try to post every single day, even if it’s just words and no pictures. I’ve accidentally discovered that food photographs way better when it’s healthy, and so I’d like to document that for you guys.
I also don’t plan on posting anything on public Facebook until the deed is done. Then I’ll post the link to Day One, and people can follow it through.
Well, let’s do this thing.

Day Two

That’s right, baby. It’s senior night for Mr. Scheyer, Mr. Zoubek, and Mr. Thomas.

To these gentlemen, I tip my hat.

Thanks for the memories, boys!



Duke, we thy anthems raise
For all thy praises untold
We sing for the Blue and White
Whose colors we uphold …..(TO HELL WITH CAROLINA!)
Firm stands our line of blue
For we are loyal through and through
Fighting with the spirit true
For the love of old D. U.

LET’S GO BLUE DEVILS!Today’s post is brought to you by Supah Mommy. She is a pretty cool lady that for sure likes attention as much as I do, so she started her own thing. Which, by the way, I just want to say thanks to all those who participated in Memoir Monday yesterday! Even without a few of the regulars, we had record attendance!

Here’s what I’ve got to toss at you this week. Let’s see what sticks. (heh)

Dear Person Who Was On My Blog At The University of North Carolina,


Unless of course, you are not a student at said university. In that case, I highly suggest you find another computer to browse the Internets on. I’m sure that UNC puts some kind of mind control stuff on their computers. Thank you for reading.



That’s real.