Folks, Blogger doesn’t make a template that will hold the day I had yesterday, but I’ll try to blog about it on Monday. That’s why this post is a day late, but with BigSis at Speaking of Witch, it’s never a dollar short.
See how I made her name big? That’s so you’ll click on it and go follow her. She’s a funny lady, as she proves here right…..NOW!
Travis is one of the funniest people I know. At first, I was honored that he invited me to guest post. Then, I started worrying about what to post. I certainly don’t want to disappoint him, or his 213 followers. Wow. I think I was number 48 to join the band wagon. Travis, you are my hero. So, anyway, I decided that what makes me laugh the hardest is other people’s discomfort. So, I’ll share with you a glimpse into growing up with my parents… On the secret of their long marriage: “Our pre-nup was that whoever left had to take the kids.” 41 years later they are still married, because apparently neither of them wants us. Still!
Whenever we’d been hustling along and my mother would fall behind my father would tell her to hurry up. She’d say, “I’m coming!” And he’d say, “Hell, you aren’t even breathing hard yet.” I was much older before I learned what he meant and was retroactively disgusted that my father had such a dirty mind.
Around the same time there was a dirty joke that my father used to tell. The joke was always whispered so that I couldn’t hear it. All I heard was the punch line: “Hardly anyone eats parsley.” Flash forward a few years and I heard the whole joke. It starts off: “What is the difference between parsley and pussy?” Yup – major retroactive EWWW!
And, on a less disturbing note, I remember how much fun my parents used to have drinking and partying with their friends at “the rivah.” After one festive night the adults were all hung over. Instead of admitting this to a bunch of middle schoolers, they told us that they must have eaten some bad shrimp. We still tease them about eating a bad shrimp. So, if you know me at all, that explains a bit of why I turned out the way I am. And, if you don’t know me, please come by and visit anytime. Thanks Travis!